The Long View

When I lose my temper and yell at the kids, I take the short view. I just want them to shut up, or sit the fuck down, or put on their jacket, or quit antagonizing each other.

When I eat poorly to satisfy a craving, I take the short view. A bowl of cereal will get my blood sugar back up, chips and salsa are easy to grab, and I looooove a good charbroiled hamburger with a side of fries to fill my belly.

When I delay a task because I’m having “me time,” I take the short view. I want to read just one more blog post, refresh Pinterest one more time, read another chapter, or lay in bed a few extra minutes.

When I do the chore myself rather than put up with their whining, I take the short view. I’m tired, they’ve been fighting me all day, it’s so peaceful when they’re not in the room, I’m just not up for being the bad guy.

I could go on an on, but these are my hot spots, my most frequent offenses.

So many decisions I make are based on what I want in that moment, and I’m continually amazed by how short-sighted I am. I’m less surprised by how selfish.

In everything I do, Christ beckons me to take the long view.

I hate the long view because it doesn’t allow for my selfishness or laziness. I’d rather lay on the couch and yell at the kids than get up and walk them through their conflict.

The long view is harder. It tries my patience. It interrupts me.

I hate the long view so much I’ve been staring at this post for days trying to figure out a way to wrap it up in a neat little bow of cheeriness. But since that’s not going to happen, I’ll talk about Jesus…

God had a plan – a magnificent dream. One day, he would get his perfect home again. And one day, he would wipe away every tear from their eyes.

You see, no matter what, in spite of everything, God would love his children – with a Never Stopping, Never Giving up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love.

And though they would forget him, and run from him, deep in their hearts, God’s children would miss him always, and long for him – lost children yearning for their home.

Before they left the garden, God whispered a promise to Adam and Eve: “It will not always be so! I will come to rescue you! And when I do, I’m going to do battle against the snake. I’ll get rid of the sin and the dark and the sadness you let in here. I’m coming back for you!”

And he would. One day, God himself would come.

The Jesus Storybook Bible, by Sally Lloyd-Jones

Jesus is the ultimate long viewer. He is patient and long suffering. That’s a Bible word: long suffering. Looooong suffering. As in, a loooong time of watching me do the same thing over and over again.

Compare that to what I am: short tempered. As in, NOT long suffering.

Jesus models the long view for me every day.

He modeled the long view for me twenty minutes ago when I “nudged” Ruthie off the bed with my foot because she played dead after I asked her to brush her teeth. If I were God, I would have rolled my eyes at me and said, “Dude, you can’t be serious! AGAIN?! Where is your PATIENCE, yo?”

Because apparently if I were God, I would talk like Jesse Pinkman.

Thank God I’m not God.

A Zugtastic Halloween

"Full of Stars" filter using the Percolator app

Halloween always reinforces my love for public school. I know it sounds like a strange correlation, but it’s one of the only times a year that I realize just how rooted we are in our neighborhood.

There’s nothing quite like the squeals of third grade girls as they run into friends on their ghoulish walk from house to house, or the look of surprised awe when they realize a teacher lives in their neighborhood.

Thomas couldn’t get over that one. It’s like he thought all the teachers slept under their desk or something. “You mean she LIVES here?!”

We even scored a pair of shoes for Thomas that a neighbor’s son outgrew. It’s not every day you get a pair of Keens in your trick or treat bag.

Encounters like these are one of the reasons we chose public school – we wanted to connect with our community. And every year I know more trick-or-treating faces, and every year I know more of the neighbors who great us at their doors.

Easy Peasy Meals with a Rice Cooker

Last year when I started working part time, Bryan bought me this rice cooker to help with easy meal prep, and it’s been a life saver!

One of the easiest dishes I make requires just a few minutes of prep in the morning, and a few minutes when I’m done working.

This is what I do in the morning:

Add rice, water, salt, and seasoning to the pot.
Add 3-4 frozen chicken breasts to the basket.
Set the delay timer.
Press the RICE button to start.

Seriously. That’s all I do. Sometimes I add chopped onion to the rice, but you get the idea.

This is what I do before we eat:

Shred or chop the cooked chicken, and add to the pot of rice.
Add a bag of fresh or frozen broccoli to the pot.
Pour in a sauce, like Yoshida’s Teriyaki or Panda Express’s orange sauce.
Stir it all together!

Even when I serve this with a salad, it’s super quick and easy, and my family gets a hot, healthy, home cooked meal.

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p.s. This isn’t a product placement or sponsored post. I really just like my rice cooker.

Friday Link Love: Lovely Posts

I loved this post – Beware of the List – over at Writing and Living. I, too, am a non-list person surrounded by list people (*cough* Bryan *cough*). I could make a list all day long of what I need to do, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to look at it.

Seems to me like lists are best used by List People.

However, I’m turning into quite the List Hacker.

For instance, I use a daily Bible reading plan, but I’ve been working on the same one-year plan for three years now. It gives me structure, but I don’t obsess over it religiously.

I loved Staci’s book, The Organized Heart, because it reminded me that organization isn’t about making lists and following rules, but about worshipping God in everything I do.

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Also read Bare Minimum Mode over at Conversion Diary about being intentional with your seasons of downtime. I get in this mode often, but I usually find myself here, rather than making a conscious decision to pull back.

When I’m in Bare Minimum Mode the priority tasks important to my family are: laundry, grocery shopping, and family dinner. The bathroom may be gross and the living room full of clutter, but by George we’ll have clean clothes and a hot meal.

What are your priority tasks when in Bare Minimum Mode?

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I’m terrible at making transitions. I don’t know anyone who is, really. Are You Wearing Bungee Cords? is a great post about living in the moment and fully crossing the bridge into whatever is coming next.

Zugtastic Pumpkin Carving Festivus 2011

I love that Bryan balances out my Control Freakishness by having the kids design their own pumpkins. They had some awesome drawings that involved teeth and scars, and I kept hearing Bryan say, “I’ll see what I can do.”

He did great, of course.

Carving six pumpkins made for a bit of a crazy Saturday night, but so fun.

I just noticed I matched the wrong pumpkins to the wrong drawings in a couple pictures below, but you get the idea.

Restful Worship

Sunrise through trees

“Before long, the king made himself at home and God gave him peace from all his enemies” (2 Samuel 7:1, The Message).

This is the verse that stared back at me this morning when I opened my Bible after a long hiatus of being “too busy” to read the Bible.

The king referred to here is David. He’d just spent the previous few years running from a mad man who tried to kill him, and fighting wars to defend God’s people.

No doubt he was tired – bone weary as well as emotionally spent. His best friend was killed, he watched another man become so consumed by his own lust for power that he eventually fell on his own sword, and he struggled to understand God’s presence in his circumstances through years of war, conflict, and strained relationships.

In the end, God’s promises all came to pass, as they always do. And when they came to pass, God gave David a season of rest.

Three things come to mind when reading this story:

David faced circumstances outside of his control, as we often do.

He couldn’t change Saul’s maniacal behavior or bring Jonathan back to life or go back to the way things were when he was a simple shepherd boy on his father’s ranch. I’m sure that would have been a nice alternative to years of war – sitting in an open field, playing the harp and watching the sheep eat grass.

If it were me who was uprooted from my blissful life and plopped into the middle of David’s plot, I would’ve spent valuable energy writing blog posts about how sad I was to leave my awesome, introverted, non-conflicting life behind.

Most of the time we can’t control what’s happening to us, but we can control how we respond.

David was all in, as they say.

Sure, he had doubts. Sometimes he wondered where God was in the midst of his circumstances, and sometimes he wished he was dead. But according to the many Psalms he wrote during that time in his life, God was the primary target of his worship and his pain.

When God gave David a season of rest, he worshipped.

I’ve noticed this about all the patriarchs of the Old Testament: God sustains his people through some really tough shit, then he provides a season of rest. And while his people are resting he re-tells the story of everything they just experienced, play by play, while reminding them of every instance that he provided for them.

God is a delicate documentarian. In these playbacks he captures the heart, the spirit, and the accurate facts because he knows his people will forget, lose heart, and try to do things on their own (like build golden calves to worship, for instance). But like a loving parent, he reminds his people that he is always with them, that he’s always been with them.

While David rested, God spoke through his prophet, Nathan, and recounted everything David experienced from the time he was a shepherd in his father’s fields. As per usual, he reminded David of all the times he provided. David responded in worship through adoration, thankfulness, and action…and then he went back to war.

Whatever circumstances I find myself in – whether emotional turmoil, financial hardship, or even just a busy schedule – God will not only sustain me in the midst of it, but he will provide a season of peace.

But it’s not the sort of peace where I catch up on laundry, sleep, and 30Rock episodes, but a peace that’s intended to remind me of who God is and how he sustained me through the day (or week, or month, or however long I’ve been slogging along).

He provides an opportunity for restful worship.

This kind of worship is what I’ve been missing, because no matter how much I “take it easy” in the midst of my current busy season, I can feel myself drying up like a leaf in October.

God doesn’t provide a season of rest so I can focus on myself, but on Him.

Friday Link Love: The Lonely Forest

Photo by Steven Dewall

I discovered some new music this summer that I can’t stop listening to.

I’ve tried putting something different on because I think maybe I shouldn’t be so OCD, but it throws off my creative process, like trying to write with my left hand.

Don’t mock. We creative types are quirky about what keeps us in the zone.

The Lonely Forest is my top favorite right now (website).

They’re stellar musicians and song writers. Plus, they ROCK. Literally. Belting voices, vibrating walls, pounding base… this is how I like to write.

Here’s an acoustic version of one of their best songs:

And a live, in-studio version of another favorite:

Bryan says we saw them perform at a small music festival on Orcas Island a few years ago when they were still in high school, but I don’t remember.

Regardless, their album, Arrows, is incredible. It’s cohesive, deep, and layered, and I can’t stop listening.

This is just one of five new music loves – I’ll share more next week!

“I assure you that my personal tragedy will not interfere with my ability to do good HAIR.”

The Mop.

That’s it. I’m done. My experiment with long hair ran its coarse. I’m getting my mop chopped. I no longer do anything to it except braid it or put it up, so what’s the point, really?

WHAT’S THE POINT?

Below are some examples of hairstyles I pinned to my Pinterest board. Help me figure out what to do!

My criteria for any hair cut is simple: LOW MAINTENANCE. I hate fussing over my hair, and I can’t afford to get it cut every four weeks, so it has to be practical and have longevity.

I’m willing to blow dry it daily, but curl or flat iron only occasionally. I’d like to avoid hair products altogether.

I know. I KNOW. I’m a grown woman with a twelve-year-old tomboy mentality.

Option #1:

I basically see the two hair cuts above as the same, but one is blown out and the other is flat ironed. This is my favorite style inspiration so far, and the one I think looks most like me.

However: bangs.

I haven’t done that in, oh, I don’t know, fifteen years? Doesn’t one have to have one’s bangs cut often? This seems out of scope for my low maintenance criteria.

Unless: hair clip. That might give me some longevity between cuts.

Option #2:

This is another option I’m considering – keeping it longish but cutting some bangs.

But again: bangs.

Also: I’m tired of my long hair.

In conclusion: this is cute, but I think I’m over it.

Option #3:

I love, love, LOVE the cut on the left. I used to have hair like this and it really worked for me and I loved how easy it was.

However, when my hair was cut like this my face was more… how shall I say?… svelt. Yes, svelt. In fact, all of me was a little more svelt when my hair was cut like this.

Lately with my increased roundness, I’m not sure I’d like myself as much in this hair cut.

Also: I don’t know how to put on eye liner, and this chick looks smokin’ hot with her sassy hair and dark eyes.

And I love the idea of the haircut on the right, but I can imagine that with my blond-ish hair color and lack of texturizing hair product I might look a bit like the end of a Q-tip.

Or it would resemble a football helmet like Sally Field in Steel Magnolias.

Sooo….

What say you? I lean toward Option #1.

Home Sweet Home

Our house, 2003
Listing Photo, 2003

We moved into our home eight years ago this weekend.

During that time we’ve had a dozen people live with us and hundreds come through our doors for parties, play dates, counseling, Bible study, and whatnot.*

Guests have stayed with us from as close as Portland to as far away as Australia.

I’m thankful for God’s provision for our home. We afforded this house on one income, made it through a few layoffs, and fed a lot of people with our fishes and loaves.

If it were up to me and Bryan, I think we’d prefer to live at the end of a deserted mountain road or at the top of a secluded condo building. We’re introverted by nature, and some might even say Bryan is a hermit. But Jesus called us into community and hospitality, and His influence in the lives of the people around us is unmistakeable.

Hard conversations around the dinner table.

But instead of living in seclusion, our home is where people gather.

Neighbors drop in, friends swing by, and kids swarm. There’s always an extra plate or two at dinner, and I’ve taken to stocking up on snacks. God transformed my heart and my budget to live hospitably in this home.

The Rays at Game Night (I just noticed Ryan's t-shirt - very funny!)
One of many game nights.

As we consider moving sometime in the future, I wrestle. I feel it’s what we are to do, yet our roots seem too deep here to survive a replant. But I recognize that hospitality is a state of mind, a way of life. It’s not a house.

No matter where we are, God will bless our home.

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*The “whatnot” may or may not include the time lightening struck as a handful of lusty housewives watched the Justin Timberlake HBO concert special on my giant HD tv.

You May Call Me Mrs. President.

Last week on the morning of my 40th birthday, Bryan woke me with a kiss, handed me a mug, and said, “Your coffee, Mrs. President. Happy Birthday.”

And it’s true. I am now the President and CEO of my own company. It’s called What Now? Exactly! and we make kick-ass animated explanations.

There is a long story behind this momentous day, but I am too tired to tell it. Not because I’m 40, but because I just launched an explanation company and it kinda took a lot out of me.

And here is where I get sappy, so grab a box of tissue.

I made some amazing friends over the last couple years, and without them I’d probably be managing the shoe department at Target. Not that working at Target is bad, but I’d have to wear pants and brush my hair to fit in.

Wait, that sounded bad.

I don’t sit in an office with my team, NOT wearing pants. We all work from home and collaborate on Skype. So, just wanted to clarify that in case you thought this was some sort of “special” animation studio.

We met while I was running a different explanation company, Lilipip. As contractors, we bumped into each other on several projects and soon realized we had the perfect chemistry for cooking up some great animated explanations.

This gave us the entrepreneurial itch to start our own thing.

That’s why I’m so excited about our first client, The Startup Foundation. It’s their mission to help folks like us do what we did – plant a flag in the community and start something new. It was an inspiring project, and just the thing we needed to keep our momentum going during this stressful season of getting launched.

Like I said, my team made this all possible, and I want you to meet them:

Andrew Imamura – Storyboard artist, Art Director, Partner.
Yas Imamura – Branding & Design, illustrator.
Linda Spain – Animator.
Fancy Morales – Everything else.

If you feel so inclined, please “like” us on Facebook, follow us on twitter, and hire us to make your next animated video.

A Few Thoughts About My Day…

God created the law.
I cannot keep to the law in my own power.
“All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23)
Jesus paid the debt for my sin.
He paid the entire debt.
I owe him nothing.
He expects nothing from me.
It was a free gift.
I don’t have the means to pay it back even if I wanted to.
This is why I follow Jesus.

Sometimes I do things for other people
like buy them a drink, or babysit their kids, or pay off their financial debt.
The smaller the act, the less I really think about it.
But sometimes, like for the really big things, I expect something in return,
when maybe I should just do that Thing and say, Blessed Be the Name of the Lord.

Thomas’ Question

World Trade Center, July 2000
Me in New York, July 2000

This morning the kids and I watched videos of the planes hitting the two towers, and videos of the towers coming down. We talked about what happened on this day ten years ago, why it was so confusing and scary, and what Bryan and I were doing when we first heard what was going on.

After asking a few questions about the planes and the pilot and the men who took over the planes, six-year-old Thomas said, “But why did the guy fly the plane if he knew he was gonna die?”

Thomas’ questions often make me stop and think. They’re always profound.

“Those men were so angry at our country, they were willing to sacrifice their lives to hurt as many people as possible,” I said. “Compare that to Jesus, who sacrificed His life because he loved us so much and didn’t want us to hurt anymore.”

Thomas just scrunched up his face, contemplating that chasm.

Beautimous!

Blueberry patch

This weekend I reclaimed my garden from the kids!

A couple summers ago I deterred my kids from digging holes in the yard by letting them dig in the patch of dirt just in front of the blueberry bushes. Little did I know Thomas would enlist all his friends to help him dig a hole to China (or a tunnel under the fence, depending on the day).

Dirt from their hole ended up surrounding the garden, killing the grass and burying the brick edging. The whole thing was a mess, and any kid that came over couldn’t help but need a bath by the time they left.

This project was so easy and took just a couple hours, so now I’m on a mission to restore my entire yard to its original glory (read: it’s pre-Lucy days).

Side view

This is the side view. I went to McLendons for an extra bag of bark mulch and discovered their perennials were 20% off. I bought a few purple cone flowers and a yarrow for this corner instead of waiting until Spring. Eventually I want to plant orange poppies to the left.

Mosaic stepping stones

Most of the work was done with materials I already had, so the only money I spent was for the bark mulch and flowers. Here, I used a railroad tie to border the blueberries and create a stepping stone path to the water spigot. The kids and I made these stepping stones at a music festival we go to every summer.

All in all a very productive weekend, and I’m completely motivated to keep going!

On Working Alone.

Lately I’ve been experiencing a creative conundrum.

You see, I have it made. I’m one of the lucky ones. And no, I’m not talking about my hair. It’s amazing, to be sure, and the world is generally very jealous of my thick and gorgeous mane, but I am talking about my lifestyle.

It’s amazing that I get to write for a living. It’s amazing that I get to work from home. During school hours. And that I don’t have ongoing expensive day care costs. This luxury is not lost on me, and from a working parent’s perspective, this is a perfect arrangement.

But it also means I work alone, which can be lonely. And uninspiring. And depressing. And did I mention lonely?

Amazing things happen when I’m in the same room as my creative team. The creative process is sometimes internal, but most of our best ideas happen in collaboration, and most of the time that collaboration is ambient, meaning it happens organically as we’re crossing paths in the hallway and not necessarily during a scheduled brainstorming session.

The watercooler conversations, if you will.

Anyway, back to the conundrum.

I like that I’m in control of my schedule, that I can be highly productive in my pajamas and use my laundry cycles as an excuse to stretch my legs and take a break (it’s better than smoking!). I like that I can be a “working mom” without compromising my affinity for being a “stay at home” mom.

But I hate that it sucks the creative life out of me to work alone.

I’m certain there’s at least a handful of solutions to my conundrum, but I can’t think of one that doesn’t involve compromise – either by me, my family, or my team.

Really, I just want to have it all. Even more all than I already have, apparently.

Doe Bay Fest… or bust.

Doe Bay Fest 2010 from Decade ii on Vimeo.

I’ve had a helluvatime explaining to my kids where we’re going this weekend.

Every year for the last seven or eight years, we’ve attended a small music festival on Orcas Island. This year that music festival was canceled, but we’re going to another music festival.

On Orcas Island.

So, yeah. My kids are confused.

Thomas especially, but I think that’s only because he doesn’t pay attention when I’m talking to him. I clearly explained how we were going to the same island to see a music festival, but it’s a different campground and a different music festival.

Thomas asked me about 42 questions to clarify what I was saying, and after 10 minutes of me repeating myself he finally goes, “OHHHHHH, so we’re going to the SAME ISLAND but to a DIFFERENT CAMPGROUND.”

See that bald spot on my head? That’s where I pulled all my hair out.