Walkabout

IMG_8728.JPGToday the kids and I went on our weekly Walk About Town to run errands and to generally be part of the community. I use “weekly” in a loose way, since the last time we did our Walkabout was before Thanksgiving, which was before the Pukefest, which was before the vacation, which was before the vacation recovery.

But prior to all that, we were going weekly.

We walked to the optometrist, and to the bank, and to the post office, and ended where all good Walkabouts end: the cupcake shop, where it’s always warm and inviting, and there’s always someone to chat with while sitting in the cozy leather chairs.

I’m always so proud to be my kids’ mom when on our Walkabouts. They wave and say hello to every person we pass, regardless of what that person looks like or is wearing, or is smoking or drinking (if you know what I’m talking about). Thomas does not take his greetings lightly either. You must respond to him, or he will continue waving at you and chirping “HI!” until you acknowledge his neighborly hospitality.

Today at the bank he growled like a monster at another customer waiting in line – his greatest display of affection.

Yesterday’s morning routine: a little coffee, a little blog reading, a frantic call to 911…

Thomas is a lazy slug who sleeps in late. Every morning that Ruthie has preschool, I have to wake him up in order for us all to leave in time. Usually I send Ruthie upstairs to tickle his ear – a sweet wake-up tradition I created after she burst into his room one morning, flicked on the overhead light, and shouted, “THOMAS! WAKE UP!” He was not happy about such a jolt, so now she whispers sweetly to him while tickling his ear.

I was sitting at the dining room table with my coffee and laptop, in the dark, waiting for Ruthie to accomplish her ear-tickling mission. Suddenly I heard gasping, choking sounds coming from Thomas and leaped up to find him half way down the stairs with a panicked look on his face (later I found my reading glass on the floor under the piano, where they landed as I threw them off). He was trying really hard to take a breath, but he couldn’t get enough air.

I could tell right away that he wasn’t choking on an object, but sounded sick, like he was having another respiratory attack of some kind. Even though I’d taken him to the emergency room last year for breathing difficulty, this time I was freaked out because he seemed to be actually choking for air.

I immediately called 911 and ran upstairs to get his nebulizer for an Albuterol treatment, but it had been a whole year since I used it and I couldn’t remember how all the pieces fit together. Just as the ambulance pulled up in front of the house, Thomas hacked up a giant ball of mucus – probably about 2-3 tablespoons in size – and then he quit gasping.

The medics stuck around for awhile to observe his breathing, and waited for me to get the nebulizer set up. Thomas was still laboring for breath, but his oxygen intake was at 99%, and after listening to his lungs the medic determined they were clear of any fluids – it was his upper airways that were congested, which is typical for a chest cold.

Later at the pediatrician he was diagnosed with the croup, which my kids get every year. I recognized the ‘barking seal’ cough when he woke up, but had never noticed any mucus during previous croup episodes. What obviously happened was that Thomas’ trachea and larynx were so inflamed with the croup that the giant ball of mucus couldn’t make it’s way out, causing his airways to become constricted.

It was a scary morning, but we all came out of it okay. Ruthie, once again, was a trooper under pressure. She was the adorable and chearful girl, standing on the front porch holding the door open for the medics, chatting with them as they came into the house. I kept hearing her say things like, “My name is Ruthie,” and “My mom’s in the kitchen,” and “Today is pajama day at preschool!”

Thomas, on the other hand, was not as cooperative. He hid under the kitchen table whenever I tried to give him a nebulizer treatment, and wouldn’t even look at the medics despite the fact that they were very toddler-friendly medics. I finally coaxed him out by asking if he thought Buzz Lightyear would like to wear a clip on his finger (the thingy that measures oxygen levels), and wouldn’t he like to wear a clip on his finger like Buzz Lightyear? God bless Pixar, because that boy crawled over to my lap and held up his cute little index finger. Go Buzz!

So that was how our Friday started, and now the Zugs are quarantined to the Zughaus for the duration of the weekend until this virus passes. Oh, and I have a kidney infection, but that’s a story for another post. Hope your weekend is healthier than ours!

Princess Ruthie and her Knight In Shining Armour

Princess Ruthie and her knight in shining armour

Halloween 2007

When I asked Ruthie what she wanted to be for Halloween she said, and I know this will shock you, a princess. Then Thomas, who always wants whatever Ruthie gets, also said he wanted to be a princess. Obviously Bryan would not have a son wandering around the neighborhood dressed in drag, so we had to get creative. I found this great Knight’s costume in the role play isle at Target, and get this, it was only ten bucks! Not bad for a brand new costume.

And now he has something to wear around the house besides his pink purse and high heels.

Snug like two Zugs in a Rug

Every morning, or at some point in the night, I wake up with a third person in bed between me and Bryan. It’s usually Ruthie, who often comes in after Bryan has already vacated his side of the bed for the morning. She sneaks in quietly, and I don’t even know she’s there until I try to escape undetected for a quiet morning cup of coffee.

Thomas is another story. From Day 3 of being alive that kid has thrashed and snorted and gagged in his sleep. When Ruthie was born, she slept quietly in a bassinet by my bed for at least three months. But Thomas? I kicked him out the first week, relegating him to his cavernous crib, because even at 8 lbs that kid could wake a heard of elephants with that snore. Whenever Thomas lumbers into bed with us, he gets an immediate boot back to his own bed, as he ALWAYS ends up whacking me in the head or kicking Bryan in the face.

Sunday morning, after a hard night of partying the day before, I went upstairs to wake the kids for church and found both their beds vacated. This is how I found them, in our bed.

I’m sure they will adore this photo when they are teenagers, don’t you think?

spooning zugs

Overheard while the Zuglets were playing “school”

Ruthie, as the teacher, holding up a My Little Pony: Who can tell me what’s this?

Thomas, sitting attentively on the floor, as the student: What’s this!

R: No – Who can tell me what’s this?

T: What’s this!

Ruthie (visibly frustrated and shaking the horse): NO! Say what this is!

T: What this is!

Exasperated, Ruthie whacks Thomas on the head with the My Little Pony, and marches away to sulk in the corner. Meanwhile, I am doubled over in laughter as I try to comfort one wounded child and one angry child. I explain to Ruthie how Thomas thinks he is supposed to say whatever she says after the word ‘say.’ Surprisingly, she picks up on this quickly, but still doesn’t quite formulate the right question.

Ruthie (with a different voice inflection): Thomas, can you tell me what this is?

T: What this is!

Ruthie huffs, but sees me laughing and lightens up. I suggest a question.

R: Thomas, what is this?

T: ISS A HORSE!

Yea! We are all now cheering that this lesson is finally over.

Highlights from our adventures on the Seattle waterfront and Bainbridge Island Ferry

1. Said loudly on the ferry –
Ruthie: Thomas! Where’s your bus?
Thomas (thinking she said ‘butt,’ he grabs his ass): I put my butt wight hee-ah! (And grabbing his crotch) And my pee-pee’s wight hee-ah!

2. Bryan and Ruthie leave to get a table at Red Robin while Thomas and I wait ten minutes in the car at a meter (don’t ask). While I’m trying to pay the meter, Thomas continues to break loose and run straight for the teriyaki restaurant we parked in front of. Each time I drag him back to the meter he wails and throws a fit about how he’s hungry and wants to see his daddy. Despite my repeatedly telling him that daddy is at the OTHER restaurant, i still have to drag him across the street kicking and screaming, and looking looking like a child kidnapper as he screams, “NO! I WANT TO SEE DADDY! DADDY IS BACK THERE!”

3. Thomas attempting to steal an apple out of the hand of a homeless man as he eats it while panhandling on the street corner. I drag Thomas away from the homeless man as he screams, “I WANT AN APPLE! I HUNGRY!”

4. The parade of bicycles that swarmed down First Avenue toward Pioneer Square. Ruthie is mesmerized, and thankfully doesn’t notice the two men who are riding buck naked.

5. Killing time in the Magic Mouse Toy Store, hearing Thomas’ voice in the next room even though he’s standing right next to me. We discover there is a toy parrot that repeats everything you say, annoyingly, and seemingly from far away rooms and around corners. Bryan and I brainstorm who we can buy this parrot for… just for kicks.

6. Ruthie and Thomas pretending to drive the race car video machine –
Thomas: We ah home, baby!
Ruthie: Okay daddy!

7. Thomas entertaining the ferry crowd with his rousing interpretation of giving Ruthie Time Outs, which then turn into wrestling matches filled with giggles.

8. As we approach the ferry dock at Bainbridge Island, I tell the kids we are going to crash. Several heads turn, and grown ups gasp that I would scare my children so. But I know my children. And I smile smugly as they jump up and down with delight, screaming, “WE’RE GOING TO CRASH!” over and over again.

Because I’m too distracted to write about anything else.

The other night Ruthie counted all the way up to 26, at which point she got caught in a vicious circle of never entering the 30’s. It went something like this: 24, 25, 26, 21, 24, 25, 26, 24, 25, 22, 23, 24, 21… and so on. It was hilarious, because she never seemed to realize she was stuck like a broken record.

Also, a couple weeks ago I took the kids to see Meet the Robinsons – part of the distraction of Bryan being gone for so long. Let me just openly remind movie theater managers that most G-rated movie-goers do NOT have the attention span to sit through previews. At the beginning of each one, Ruthie would shout out if this was the movie, only she kept getting the name wrong. It evolved…

IS THIS MEET THE ROBINS?

IS THIS MEET THE ROBINSES?

IS THIS MEET THE ROBIN?

IS THIS MEET THE ROBINHOOD? (my personal favorite).

There is one scene in the movie in which a scary dinosaur is trying to get the kid. Ruthie was terrified and jumped into my lap until this scene was over.

But Thomas? That was the ONLY part of the movie he paid attention to! He jumped up and down and growled back at the screen and pointed his ‘gun’ finger in retaliation.

It was awesome.

Smear Campaign

No matter how many times I clean him up, he still looks like this 99.9% of the time.

The Male/Female Communication Gap

building towers with blocksFor Thomas’ birthday we bought him large plastic blocks – and I mean LARGE as in several inches across and deep so I don’t have to step on or find little blocks all. over. my house.

Last night Ruthie and Thomas were stacking them high into a tower and giggling as they knocked the tower down. At one point Ruthie paused just before demolition to elaborately explain to me exactly what was about to happen. Perhaps she will one day administrate, manage, or lead people, because she was very organized about the whole thing.

Just as she was getting to the good part, with her hand fisted and finger pointing out for emphasis, saying, ‘…and then I’m going to count to three, and then I’m going to knock it over!’ Thomas became impatient, swooped in with his own finger pointing for emphasis and shouts, ‘…two….three….ahhhhhh!’ and knocks the tower over prematurely, completely stealing her thunder.

Two Parts Mother, One Part Translator

This morning when I got Thomas out of his crib, he pointed to a group of toys on the floor and said, “Bee Bee Bah!”

So I handed him the Baby Bottle for one of Ruthie’s doll’s.

He furrowed his brow, threw it to the floor, and pointed again.

“BEE BEE BAH!” He said more emphatically.

I looked at the toys again, and realized there was a Hot Wheels school bus among them, and he was saying, “Beep, Beep, bus!”

At least I figured this one out, which is more than I can say for the phrase Ruthie stumped me with.

The True Meaning of Valentine’s Day

I should have known what I was getting into. Friends had warned me. I saw the signs, but ignored them. Thinking I was a beautiful swan diver, I belly flopped dramatically. And painfully.

For the Valentine’s party in Ruthie’s preschool class on Tuesday we were told to bring valentines for each kid in class, so that’s what I did. Over the weekend we bought Go! Diego, Go! valentines, Ruthie helped me fold them, and she added the stickers, and together we remembered all the names of the kids in her class as I wrote them on the outside of each valentine. We had a lovely time doing a project together.

Only to realize that every other Super Mom in the class had either created homemade valentines or had attached a handful of candy in cute cellophane bags and tied with pretty ribbons. They were masterpieces of beauty.

But don’t you worry – I’ve got your numbers now, bitches. You’d better be prepared for the biggest f-ing chocolate bunny Easter has ever seen! Your kid will be high on sugar until the Fourth of July!

Valentine's Day Candy Thief

All was quiet in the living room yesterday as Bryan, Ruthie, and I finished eating lunch. Suddenly realizing I heard nothing from The Boy, I asked Bryan to peak around the corner to see what he was up to.

Bryan choked on his soda and subtly motioned for me to come see – without alerting Ruthie. He had busted into Ruthie’s stash of candy from her party at school, and had successfully eaten all the chocolate from one package before we realized what had happened. Fortunately Ruthie had not taken inventory of her loot, so we were able to clean up the mess before she even knew what happened, averting World War III.

Valentine's Day candy breach

Ruthie has recently attended three birthday parties in addition to the Valentine’s Day party at school – all which provided her with copious amounts of candy. In order to control how much and when she ate said candy, I stashed her stash in a basket on top of our very tall refrigerator.

As you can see, The Girl is resourceful.