Coding Horror

As it turned out, Bryan had to work the entire weekend I was in Kansas. He took a short break for beer and pizza on Thanksgiving, but otherwise he spent the weekend coding while the kids watched movies. He coded in the living room while the kids took a bath. He coded on the couch while the kids watched movies. He coded in bed while the kids jumped up and down all around him…and watched movies.

As the weekend approached and I realized it would not be filled with fun trips to the dog park or shopping to get mama that really great Christmas present, I tried to find someone to help him with the kids. But in the frantic days before my departure all I could think of were the usual friends and babysitters who watch my kids, and they were all gone for the holiday weekend. After I got home, of course, I remembered all sorts of other people who had offered to watch the kids if we ever needed it.

I checked out six new videos from the library in hopes that fresh entertainment would help keep the kids out of his hair.

The first day I called in I got a report that Ruthie had watched Pocahontas four times in a row. After the second viewing Thomas threw a major fit, so Bryan stuck her in our room while they watched “Buzz Lightyear.” I later learned that Ruthie watched Pocahontas four times every day, which I think breaks the record from my Finding Nemo days.

The second day I called in I learned that Thomas had ripped one of the library’s DVD jackets to pieces (note the bright pink sticker that says, ADULT SUPERVISION RECOMMENDED).

The third day I called in, I learned that Ruthie had drawn on my stainless steal refrigerator with a Sharpie permanent marker. For Sunday I called in reinforcements and had a friend take the kids to church so Bryan could code uninterrupted.

But really, this was like a typical week for me, so I think Bryan was a major stud if that’s all that happened while he was completely preoccupied. When I got home the house was clean, the kitchen was clean, and the kids were alive. That’s all I ask. Truth be told, I felt really bad that he was stressing through a major coding deadline with the kids underfoot while I was making a spectacle of myself over politics in a restaurant.

Yesterday while I was catching up on reading some blogs, I read this HILARIOUS post by Dooce on her new blog design. When she says, “[Jon] has been knee-deep in code for almost two months now…]” I totally related to what that’s like. Yesterday morning Bryan was screaming the F word at his laptop because something wasn’t working in Explorer the way it was working in Firefox, which is similar to the other night when he was screaming the F word at his laptop because something wasn’t working in Firefox the way it was working in Explorer.

When this happens I just pretend I’m not there.

My favorite excerpt from that post is this:

Yesterday as we neared the final stretch I decided to take Leta out to run some errands so Jon could project manage those last few tasks without being distracted by the sound of her body tossing itself on the floor. He briefly got up from this desk to kiss me goodbye when I noticed two giant sweat stains underneath his arms, and I was all, are you running on a treadmill while coding my website? Isn’t that complicated? And he’s all, yes I’m running on a treadmill, WITH MY BRAIN.

So thank you, Bryan, for manning the DVD player while I whooped it up with my family in the midwest.