stepping through the door

“we’re stepping through the door / we’re shooting from the heart / but if we get it wrong / they’ll feed us to the sharks” – Starsailor, Shark Food

In the movie of my life (where I am played by Ellen Page), this song will underscore the climactic visual montage where scenes are cutting into each other and someone is running in slow motion – or crying in slow motion, or shaking a fist at the sky in slow motion – and you know two story lines are about to collide or something is about to explode and you’re on the edge of your seat holding your pee because you don’t want to miss it when —

But seriously. I’ve been playing this song all day.

I know I can be dramatic, but the Zugs are on the cusp of something big. I don’t know what it is exactly, but I do in general, and for the first time in my life I’m okay with not knowing all the details or whether it will all blow up.

Because it could all blow up.

If we get it wrong, they’ll feed us to the sharks.

And we will be glorious shark food.

But here is what we do know:

• we don’t need all this stuff
• we don’t need all this space
• we like to make cool shit

I’ve been walking around in a fist-pumping, barbaric yawp-ing, let’s-do-this-thing kinda mood for awhile, now, but don’t ask me why, or what’s up, or what’s happening because I have no freakin idea.

Yet.

But there is a door God is calling us to step through, and so we step – even though we don’t exactly know what’s on the other side.

I’ve never been an adrenaline junkie, but when I listen to the building momentum of this song, and I imagine all the possibilities in front of us, and embrace the likelihood of failure – I have to admit it makes me feel a little tingly.